You Have Been Loved
by La Lagrima Del Cielo
Summary: Severus, contrary to your belives, you have been loved. You have been loved by me, Hermione Jean Granger. WARNING: SAD! But worth reading, I hope. REWRITTEN version now up!


**Disclaimer: As always, I don't own a thing!**

**I have to give a big, big thanks to my betas: OriettaRose and Teresa :)**

_**You have been loved**_

_Dearest Severus,_

_I am writing you this letter in hope to clarify some things. I am still unable to say this out loud without my heart breaking, please forgive me for that._

_Once I had heard you say that you were all alone. That you had no one that cared for you, no one that loved you. Well, my love, that's where you're wrong. Because I did, Severus, and I still do. But, you never noticed it, no matter how hard I tried. You didn't see all those times my eyes would rest on you, all those small smiles I would give you during dinners… You never noticed…_

_From my first year, here in Hogwarts, I was amazed with your intelligence. For you were the only man that shared my great love for books and knowledge. Often, I would catch myself imagining what your private library was like. You are laughing now, aren't you Severus? Yes, I know I am a hopeless bookworm, but so are you love, so are you. However, there are some things you can't learn from books, and those things I've learned from you. I don't think you understand the role you had in my life. You have taught me so much. If it wasn't for you, I would have never known what true love is._

_With every day my respect for you would grow. Maybe it was because you saved me from Remus that night, or maybe it was something else, but soon, I saw in you what others failed to see – a man with a good heart. I'm not saying that you weren't a git to us or that you had been the most pleasant man to be around. You are sarcastic, tempered and my God, you can smirk, but there was always something that told me there was more to you than the bastard you had represented yourself as. Then I started to notice the proud look in your eyes when a student would get the potion right. It was only for a split second, but it was there. My eyes would also catch __the sadness in you when you'd hear us talking bad about you. It made me sad, that look in your eyes. I wanted nothing more than to comfort you but you were always so distant. Every time I had tried to get to you, you would put on the mask everyone knew all too well._

_When was it that I had begun to see you as a man Severus? I honestly can't put my finger on it. Was it in the 6th year or maybe even earlier? I don't know. All I do know is that I would find myself daydreaming about you, unable to stop. Your eyes, your hands, your voice… Exquisite perfection! I imagined how would it feel to have your arms around me, with your velvety voice telling me you loved me, but then I would hear… "Miss Granger, detention! Tonight at 8! Do not be late!" Was I sorry about the detentions? Never! I knew that nothing would happen between us, but still… I got to spend some precious time with you. That was more than anything I could wish for, Severus.  
_

_It was a silly girl crush, I had told myself, but my feelings only grew stronger, until one day it all became clear – I was in love with you. You are probably as shocked as I was when I realized it, but it's the truth. I, Hermione Granger, love you, Severus Snape. It took me too much precious time to come to terms with it, but after that, my love for you had become my greatest joy. At times it was my only joy. The hope of being with you one day was my greatest strength in the time of the war. I would wake up with smile on my face after having a dream about us. At first, I was very careful and discreet with the looks I gave you, not risking to be caught, but that didn't last for long. After awhile, to just see you wasn't enough. I needed to feel you. I needed to touch you. I needed you in every way. I still do, Severus, more than you'll ever know. My longing for you hasn't stopped, I needed to find a way to touch you. With me being a student and you being, well, yourself, I didn't have much choice other than those little "accidents". Touch here; a touch there… But it was better than nothing._

_My biggest surprise was that no one noticed. You were oblivious to everything concerning me. While I was doing my best to hide my feelings, somewhere deep inside I hoped for you to see them. But you never did. For you, I was one of the many... Another face in the crowd. You could never know how much that hurts me, Severus. Because, for me, you were - are, the only one._

_I am sorry my love. I am so sorry for being the coward that I am. I should have told you earlier about my feelings, but I was terrified. Terrified of being rejected by the only man I would ever love. What would a man like you see in a schoolgirl like me? I was the bushy haired, insufferable know-it-all with big teeth, and you, you were this brave, smart and, if I may add, an incredibly hot man. You are probably rereading that last line, to see if you read correctly, and yes, it really said 'incredibly hot'!  
_

_But, there is also Lily, and I know you've never forgot her, love. And with her beauty, I cannot measure. Now, I hope, you understand my fear of your rejection._

_You are probably asking, what is the point of this letter? Why now? It is to make you see that you were loved and cared for. Even though you never noticed, you never believed, you were loved and cared for by me._

_I love you, always and forever,_

_Hermione Jean Granger_

_As she placed the letter on the grave of the only man she ever loved, she broke down into tears and cried. Cried for the first time since that dreadful moment, fifty years ago to this day, when Nagini heartlessly stole Severus' life right in front of her eyes.  
_

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**Love & Peace,**

**Pia**


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